hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
