You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
