I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
