Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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