Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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