tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
