two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
