Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
