dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
