I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
