I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize