Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
