i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
