I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
