Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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