I want to make a zoo with you.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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