Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I FOUND THE LEGS
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
