I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
