idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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