I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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