I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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