I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
