Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
