Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
the raccoons are back...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
