I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
