she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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