all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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