After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
