school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
