I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I think i got beer on your cat.
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