I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I enjoy the company of your penis
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
