I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
