yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
