So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
