I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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