I wish life had little blips of pornography
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
