Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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