I'm going to jail i love you
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
