I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
