He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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