**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
