I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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