Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
