ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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