We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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