she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
