I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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