she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
