Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
