You work out of a Hotel?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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