drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
