I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
