..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
