First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
