I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
