the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
