my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize