id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
