Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
