Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
