I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
