Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Acid is not a monday night drug
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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