I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
