I met the friendliest cop last night
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
